I just got back from Butterworth, damn tired. But still I have the urge to write, to continue telling what I did way back there.
Came downstairs and sit in the Oldtown Kopitiam, open and start my lappy to find that I’m facing the same connection error again! Why?! I entered the password they gave me but the pop-up says “checksum validation failed for the pin entered” what does that mean? Well, I gave up asking the waiter again, never mind. I asked the guy beside me whether he could fix it, apparently he just stared at the screen and goes “Sorry, I can’t help you, my network setting was done by someone else and I just came in…” In disappointment, I expressed my gratitude and think of something else.
It did saddened me, however the moment I saw a few hunks came in I was settled, come on it did cheered me up a little, I’m a happy lad now. Am writing this in MS Words and will cut and paste into my new post later when I get the full connection.
Btw, when did this kopitiam evolved into a gay scene hotspot? I can practically smell a few loads of them here, guys winking at each other, definitely a cruising place you wouldn’t like leaving.
Alright, getting back to my history. I have to mention that Tony Toy did become a very special person in my life. He wasn’t mentioned in the early chapters as I did accidentally said it in the last post and I thought I did.
Well, when I started in TSA in Ipoh, he was my junior and he had an elder brother whom I called ARR (All-rounder Rev), he’s my mentor, almost my idol. I learned playing the organ under his guidance, yeah mostly played by ears.
Tony Toy did look up to me, as his leader, his refuge apart from his biological brother. We became very intimate. I was close to his brother as well as we shared the same music together, refining the masterpieces, which chord should we use when we wanted to repeat the chorus, which song to decide when I wanted to lead the congregation into prayers. “When I look into Your Holiness, When I gaze into your loveliness…” came into mind, one of my favorite Christian songs.
In the other hand, Tony Toy was trying to pick up with us, trying hard with his guitar, I admitted that he was a fast learner; he picked up guitar without a lesson taught just barely on books.
The struggles went on, even at the age of 16, I have yet to make up my mind whether to let go, let go the life I am living now. Homosexuality is a sin according to the Bible, man were made for women, what the hell is wrong with man loving man? The straight, old-fashion, gaudy way of living, traditional marriage and match-making is what you called ‘Love’?
Well, that didn’t stop my mum from loving my father even he’s married in the beginning, did they? And he’s still married.
That was why I didn’t leave the way I’m living. It’s a question: “To lead the life you wish or kiss goodbye Christianity?”
I made that decision at the age of 17, I left Christianity, some said I was mislead by the worldly ‘things’, by greed, by enjoyment and unholy stuffs like, freedom?
When I was discharged from the home at 18, the first thing came to my mind was indulge myself fully into the cyber world of MIRC, that came after finding myself a decent job lol. That's a good start I guessed, thank God for the internet...
~End of Part 3.3~
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