Adolescence - The Forbidden Love (Part 3.1)

One day in school during recess, a pat on my shoulder, "Are you gay? Coz I am too ya know, come hang out som...". I was asked by one of my junior. "Uh..err...No! I'm not! What are you? Freak? Get away please." Among other friends and classmates, I could not afford to admit it at that moment. I was freaking scared, there was blank in my mind, food tasted blanch and tongue numb. Eyes were rolling, could not focus or concentrate.
A guy who was sitting beside me, stood up "Hey! Doncha understand? Back off or I will..." one of my best friend, Khai defended for me. "We gonna be late for class if you continue to freeze like that pal." Without hesitation, gulped whatever in front of me down my throat. "Ah..hem...alright...let's go back..." inhale rapidly "Hey...Khai, thanks buddy".
"You...alrigh..." quickly responded "Yeah! am fine, of cos i am, would you ever think I am, gay?!"
Khai's arm on my shoulder, "Yea, I will let you eat my fist of rage if you were..ahhhaaha"

Khai's one of my best buddy in the class, in fact my favorite pal, we did things together, played basketball, volleyball, handball, I was second after him in 100 metres run, we even team in 4x100 metres. He was tall, tan and toned kinda sunshine guy in the school. Girls were crazy about him, cheering for him during sports day. I was a bit jealous about that.
He was the only guy that I shared everything else but not the werewolf living inside me. He made me feel I was normal among them, in school, with classmates. It sounded a bit like my bodyguard or tai lou (big brother) to others but we were really like brothers. I never had a brother before until I met him, he made me felt I was part of the family.
"I mustn't let him know who's the real ME, in that way I will continue to be his best buddy, most importantly, his 'love'..." whisperer in my mind...
I was selfish even I pretended as a straight guy in school, when it comes to sharing him. I will always be in the same team with him whenever we have class projects, sports or events.
I remembered, we became prefects together in Form 2.

I never get in the volleyball team, he was representing the school in the national competition, with other seniors and one of them, his own brother. No wonder I hated the coach so much.
Always stop by the hostel to watch them practise after school. The court was in front of the male hostel.
He and other buddies collected money and bought me a volleyball, couldn't recall the brand, something like 'Spal----' branded and good quality. My first ever birthday party, in his house, dishes cooked and prepared by his mom...tears were rolling down, was a real moment where I almost wanted to commit to him. But, I did not. Something was holding me back, dilemma was arise and questions in my head. I put them aside and for everybody sake, I didn't ruin the party.
Sometimes, he was over-protected about me, may be he knew I was the only child in my family and am staying alone with no relatives or parents around. Consequently, I thought we were in love or even couple / partners, having our youthful time, boyish and innocent play. I would never forget that in my whole life, we never have our first kiss though LOL. He would kill me off the scene already.

I so wish that I complete secondary school with him, unfortunately I needed to transfer to Penang when I turned 15 years old. Heart broken though, he was sad too. We couldn't help it. My mum has to go to the US and I had no choice but to move down to be closer to my hometown, Alor Setar.
We are still friends until now, though not much communication going on but in our hearts we know we cherish one another right, Khai?
"I love you Khai, and will always do."
Guess that's the furthest we can go, relationship that I can only dream of and the forbidden love.