The Past (Part 1.2)

I've been reading some other blogs lately, came across one of them which he posted a YouTube clip of a Sign Language Interpreter signing 'womanizer', a hunk too! Very intriguing as the author wrote, yes indeed, I've never seen such powerful message and the signs were beautifully showed in expressions and dances, even though I was an interpreter last time. I would never achieve that...





The point is, it made me pondered back those days, where I was living in the The Salvation Army where we would have wolves hunting their predators...which sign language, body language and expressions were used to communicate...even in the dark.

Straight to the point, they would not come for me wanting other than sex, i remembered the gaze, the stare, the wink, fingers luring me into an empty room, the rubbing between bodies, the absolutely predictable and cunning smile when looking back at me and etc.

Many words sometimes could be expressed by other languages, I am already feel 'numb' to all these languages, I only know how to obey orders, take orders like a dog. Living in a two face personalities, lying and hiding were the lifestyles those days...

Still remembered there's one time where we do not have electricity supply; the whole hostel was in dark, and we still managed to sneak out of the room safely and find place for a release, or how we snuggled together covered in blanket to hide our presence when the guardian came to check our room.

As I am writing this, I am watching MILK, it is very inspiring and moving, I wondered I would have that great courage to stand up for my own rights, or even my pride, somehow, I would rather face it or fight it than dying in my own shame, my humiliation for the same kind and my regrets.

Lastly, I should say, just remain who you are, don't try to become anyone other than yourself unless you're an actor lol. I have left that two face world a long time ago, that was like the times before MILK, closeted people, I had came out, how 'bout you?