No Pain No Gain!

It was my belated birthday treat from my sister / colleague a.k.a Bountiful Bel, She treated me to a free massage session at the True Spa at Jaya 33 yesterday, it was a pain enduring training session for me, and it was my first, I've never try massage, not even a foot massage. Not that I'm a coward or have foot sore but I just don't fancy, but I like to give massage with a little knowledge of a few kind...but not Shiatsu.







I was not paying any attention to my sis when she was talking to me while booking the retreat for both of us:







Bel: Hey brader, I book massage har, *then continue talking softly to the receptionist in the phone 'ah yes, Shiatsu for him please...'







Me: Huh? You called me sis? A what?! Shiatsu! Oh...Ok, if that's what I am getting as my birthday present...







I have zero knowledge and info about Shiatsu Massage, all I know was it is for people with low sex drive life or their sex life has 'died', no more 'spark'. Don't ask me, I don't even know where I read that or may be I watched it on tele. Lol.







Thai Masseuse: Mister, please take off clothes but leave only underwear, only 1, underwear don't take...







Me: *ok...I would probably know even you didn't tell me, although I have not done Shiatsu...







I could not express more, in words about the pain I went through, gawd, I thought it was suppose to feel like a great sex, no?









I tell you, don't judge the book by its cover, the tiny and short Thai Masseuse is not for play, once I got myself 'almost' naked and lied down as to be ready to receive the treatment, she placed some towels on my back and lower.







'Hiyaa' she jumped on my back and start pulling my muscles and pressing on my back...







Well, she's short but she's not Lucy Liu in Charlie Angels, she was gentle at first, by starting off with her palms pressing gently from my foot, leg and then up to my spine and neck and then she started to apply more pressure, the more the pressure the louder I gasped and almost sounded like I was mourning, I was going through the extreme pain.




When she started to change position and re-locate my legs so they are wider for her to climb on me, I was starting to have 'uneasy' feelings, I made cranky sounds and I farted when she was on top of me...opps 'I'm sorry' and she laughed a bit.




At certain points on my spine where she used her elbows to apply pressure, and not only that, she also rubbing it at the same time, making it a burning sensation, I could feel the exact point was smoldering and dissolving entirely but slowly, spreading. It's like you drop a soluble aspirin into a glass of water. I screamed with my mouth opened widely enough to take in the whole chicken thigh, with my face down but no voice from my throat knowing that Bountiful Bel who's having deep skin massage next to me, would be shocked or become traumatic of what happened to me, and with that I decided I would endure the whole session with silence and deal with it. However, I know it's was meant to do good for my health.




Well, it was a great massage, indeed, like having a great sex, a little better than the one you had after a long break. I slept like a baby next to Bel while she did her reading at my home.





Before this, I was suffering from some sort of depression or I-don't-know-what-it's-called sickness, where and when you don't know what you were / are doing in your life period, I have that once in awhile, I lost focus on work / relationship / life / routine. That happened when my mother came back from The States. You tell me, I should be happy, right? Supposedly.





I didn't know what to do, I don't know what my job scopes are anymore, my schedule was a mess, workloads piling, agendas screwed up, I can't handle situations. I just....just stare into the emptiness, blank, like I was sucked into the black hole, my entire life.




I know it had nothing to do with my mother returning for the hols, or she got her green card, I just can't find the source, I went nuts, I stared at ceilings for hours, at times I thought I had mental disorder, and I would be thinking about the many-things in life, I almost lost myself.




My performance began to slide from the month of May and just about last week, I began to pick up again, had a meeting with boss and Ronald, of 'cos get serious attention, suggestions, and warnings. It seriously affected my review next month.




May be it was habit, may be it wasn't, I do not need to be pushed everytime I got stuck or I am afraid to move, I get up, take a deep breath and charge forward, using different approaches. I should be that.




Memories flashing backwards, episodes of life repeating in my head, my mother would ask me again and again, would I go back to the normal life? What!? I am not normal? We can't be normal for who we are? No! I get to choose how I want to live...



Bel: You are among the few of my friends that show different-ness, you came out of the closet but you still practise closet, what for? Your mom knows and you should make it a point, be famous, be fabulous and proof what you're doing is successful and you'll never regret it, Joe. Look at your shelves, not one happy ending or funny novel, you should get a laugh-out-loud story, it's essential in your life, I want to see you smile and hear you laugh again, Joe.




Me: ...and I shall do that, for me and, for us.